"Can Anyone Even "Own" A Spaceship?"
Season 5, Episode 41
Air Date: February 3, 2016
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Week 41 Q&A

Alpharius does an interview and Piani falsifies ownership of the Fulminate Blade

Short Summary Edit

Detailed Summary Edit

The InterviewEdit

A man in his early 30's who looks to be of Indian descent wearing an expensive suit and carrying a data pad approaches the Swan Song. A younger woman, Ms. Kapoor, wearing a button-up shirt with blue jeans and carrying a camera, is following him. The man walks up to Erik, who is currently inspecting the outside of the ship, and hands him a business card that has the name 'R. Patil' on it, next to the Sunbeam Omnistellar Limited logo. He says that he needs to speak to a man named 'Kovacs' as soon as possible.

As Piani attempts to gain access to an internal maintenance panel in order to stop the Fulminate Blade from permanently powering its systems down, she receives a premonition wherein there is a large explosion and Piani's last breaths are said into the arms of Higgins. After snapping back to reality, Piani maneuvers herself through a snug side-access cavity in order to bring herself to the back-end of the same panel. She gets there just in time and has a choice to save one of two remaining systems, the plasma cannon, or Bowman's personal information. From the outside, Erik watches as the Fulminate Blade's plasma cannon powers down.

While looking through Bowman's personal information, the only important documentation that Piani finds is that the Swan Song's location was tipped off by an unknown source. A drone quickly flies into the personal space of Alpharius, Piani, and Erik, and blinds them all with a flash of its camera. A blonde-haired woman in a suit, skirt, and high-heels who is holding a microphone and recorder quickly walks up to them. Alpharius nimbly steps up to the woman who asks:

Anna Xu: Excuse me, is this your ship?

Alpharius: Yes. I am Captain Higgins.

Anna Xu: Do you mind if I speak with you a moment captain?

Alpharius: That will be quite alright darling.

Anna Xu: This is Anna Xu for Galactic News Network. I’m here with Captain Higgins. Captain, good evening.

Alpharius poses.

Anna Xu: Captain, it looks like your ship has sustained some pretty serious damage tonight. Can you tell us in your own words what happened?

Alpharius: [Terrible Higgins Imitation] Yeah, it dun’n taken damage. Still not quite sure what happened. We’re trying to figure that out... darling.

Anna Xu: The entire scene here is chaos. There’s just so much going on and well, an eyewitness report like yours, captain, would be absolutely great for our viewers at home. So from your perspective when all this started, where were you? What was going on?

Alpharius: Well I was doing what excellent captains typically do, and I was overlooking the legal and dutiful work of my fellow crewmates inside the ship. I reckon' we heard a loud bang coming from somewhere outside of our ship, and in the ensuing chaos, it looks like our ship took some damage from somebody else's.

Anna Xu: There's some that are saying this is an act of religious extremism. What do you think?

Alpharius: Oh absolutely.

Anna Xu: You heard it here folks. Religious terrorists on Vinaya.

Finished, Anna Xu's shoulders drop as she takes out a cig and lights it. After a long drag, she thanks Alpharius for the interview and explains that she has been interviewing literal dumbasses all-day long. Not known for his tactfulness, Alpharius says, "Well we're gonna be here a while, so if you are interested in perhaps sex or something like that, you can come back." Anna quickly says that she doesn't "do cyborgs" and then promptly leaves.

The Politics of Space-LifeEdit

The scene fades into a room of rows upon rows of people sitting in front of computers. Between the rows stand men in military uniform meant to keep in check those sitting at their desks. The camera zooms in onto a message created by Erik that was supposedly sent to one of his contacts revolving information inquiry about the psychic crystals found on Pitcairn Station. The person sitting at the computer takes out a chip and waves down the nearest military officer.

After Erik explains that a man was asking for someone named Kovacs, Higgins calls up Mr. Patil. Over the phone, Patil explains that there was an attempt at changing over ownership of the Swan Song, but that the terminal that it was being serviced through was damaged. Higgins and Alpharius then climb into a cab and head over to the Sunbeam Omnistellar Limited offices.

Richard Patil stands in his modern office that is made of a combination of holograms and plastic, overlooking a beautiful artificial lake where speedboats are currently racing. Higgins starts the conversation off by bluntly asking how he managed to find their ship. Patil calmly responds that every manufactured ship has a chip in it that sends off a signal if severely damaged. Higgins angrily says that he was told that the chip had been removed. Patil calmly explains that during the merger between Ximinez and Sunbeam, several clauses in the contracts had been invalidated. Patil then offers Sunbeam Omnistellar Limited's resources to Higgins in helping repair the Swan Song. Higgins gives a counter-offer and tells Patil that they can have Bowman's ship if it'll reduce the cost of repairs. Patil tells him that legally speaking, Bowman's ship belongs to Sunbeam Omnistellar. Higgins tells an obvious lie that Bowman had given him the legal rights to his ship right before he died and that he will give Patil the proper paperwork soon.

Piani works long into the night looking at a bunch of legal contracts in order to come up with the proper paperwork. Higgins then gets out of a bed that belongs to the Intellect's puppet, and hand-delivers the papers to Patil before the rise of the sun on the next morning.

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