"I'm Your Number One Fang"
Season 2, Episode 17
Wu and nika
Wu's Pre-concert Picture by Vuzzbx
Air Date: April 3, 2015
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The crew attends a concert starring famous musician Nika Starlight

Short Summary Edit


Detailed Summary Edit

The date is July 27, 3200. Two days are left before popular musician Nika Starlight performs her last concert on Strophios. The crew had just gotten tickets for the concert. Their plan: To protect Lord Laura McCrary from any assailants that her husband might send after her.


Wu waiting

Wu waiting for the next adventure by pukiv

The scene begins with the dull roar of a large, far-away crowd. The camera fades in onto a dressing room door that has a large pink star hanging on it with the words 'Nika Starlight' written in yellow letters. The door opens to reveal a 16-17 year old Chinese-looking girl grooving out to music in a folding chair. She has bright pink hair that is sparkling with fiber optics and over her extravagant hair-style is a puffy pink headset. She is wearing a plastic-looking dress, has on large platform shoes, and is looking at Spacebook while eating candy out of a bright pink bowl. You hear a nearby man's voice say, "It's time Nika." Nika cheerfully grins and says, "Let's do it!" She puts up two fingers, winks at the camera, and then bounds out of the room. As she walks into the shadow of a dark hallway, the echoes of the crowd boom louder.

Future PreparationsEdit

Higgins: Do we need to give this last one to the Noble Woman?

Piani: You need to give it to Wu.

Higgins: Why does Wu need to come?

Piani: Because he fucking loves Nika Starlight.

Connor Wu giddily stands behind Wilbur Higgins III, miserably failing to act inconspicuous. Wu has been following Higgins around ever since he had gotten back onto the ship with five backstage Nika Starlight tickets.

Higgins turns around and asks Wu if he would like to go to the concert.

In Wu's mind, he is calmly shaking his head saying yes, but to everyone else watching, Wu’s eyes widen as he just stares at Higgins, a squeak of acknowledgement is the only response Wu gives.

Preparations for the ConcertEdit

Pi clippy1

PI is the new Clippy by ace_gsb_lol_king

Prosper Trudeau spends the whole day running diagnostics on Pi with a file that he received from Elana Durant, a member of The Order of Annunciation. Once the diagnostics are finished, Piani Pic finds that a large portion of Pi's memory banks are corrupt where someone had specifically gone in and damaged/removed data, only broken fragments remain. The oldest fragmented information found originates from Andoni circa 2000 years ago (~1199 AD). Piani also determines that the Warmind had caused no noticeable data corruption to Pi when it had taken ahold of them on Harridan's Heart. Piani asks Pi if they would like for her and Prosper to try and recover the missing data. Pi responds by saying that they like how they are now and that they are afraid of uncovering data that may hurt the well-being of the crew. A copy of the data is then sent to Cabral. Later in the day, Prosper receives a message from the office of general Reinieer who tells him that a ship by the name of 'Two of Wands' will be coming in approximately 5 days in order to try and recover the missing information within Pi's systems.

Piani receives a reply back from James Honn on Majid explaining that the ship with the same ID that she was looking for was supposed to have docked on Majid about a week ago but never showed up.

Mr. Sicarian has had continuous headaches and nightmares ever since walking out into space atop of Harridan's Heart. Once he feels up to it, Mr. Sicarian calls up Laura McCrary and tells her that someone had picked up two tickets on her behalf. Laura tells him that she received only one ticket, but that she doesn't remember who from as she gets everything for free and doesn't ask any questions. Mr. Sicarian then goes into Higgins' room only to see Higgins passed out on his bed in nothing but his white underwear, positioned spread-eagle with a bottle of bourbon in one of his hands. Mr. Sicarian splashes water onto Higgins' face and tells him that they may have some guests at the concert and to gather everyone up to discuss future plans.

The Sixth Annual Meeting of the Swan SongEdit

Higgs disco

Disco Time With Higgs by PhoeniXIM

Everyone is positioned in the ship's bridge. Wearing only pants, Higgins tells the crew that he will play security footage of the person who purchased the two tickets for Lord Laura McCrary. Piani goes over to the computer terminal and punches a few buttons. Everyone begins to hear high-bpm electronic dance music and on the overhead screen is a loop of Higgins doing the finger dance, shooting Randy, and then doing the finger dance again.

Piani: Oh I'm sorry, I hit the wrong file.

After some awkward giggling from various crew members, and an uncanny silence from others, some grainy video footage appears of a bald man who looks to be in his early 40's purchasing two Nika Starlight tickets. The crew then decides that Higgins and Piani will go talk to a guard at the concert venue about bringing in some firearms, while Prosper and Mr. Sicarian will go to the cities' customs office to try and track down the name and location of the man who bought the concert tickets.

A Return to the Box OfficeEdit

The ticket office is more crowded than last time Higgins had been there. While waiting for the manager to arrive, a group of screaming teenage girls dressed head-to-toe in Nika Starlight clothing run into the stadium. The manager opens the door, and without a chance to inquire as to Higgins' purpose of being there, Higgins and Piani walk past the manager and go into his room. Piani lets out a hiss when Higgins introduces her as one of the best killers in the universe. The manager then begins to sweat, reminiscent of Higgins' last visit. Getting right to the point, Higgins tells the manager that him and his crew want to bring weaponry into the concert in order to protect their escort, Lord Laura McCrary. The manager tells them that they allow for small weapons to be let into the venue for self-defense reasons. He then hands Higgins a list of all of the allowed weaponry.

Black Killing Machine

Black Killing Machine by PhoeniXIM

Mr. Sicarian and Prosper head to the customs office in order to try and track down the person who purchased the Nika Starlight tickets for Lord Laura McCrary. When they arrive, Mr. Sicarian introduces himself and hands the working officer a picture of the unknown target while asking if they have seen his uncle. The officer tells Mr. Sicarian that he won't be able to help him out without a name of the guy or the name of his ship. Mr. Sicarian then puts his hand on the table and says,

Mr. Sicarian: Mister, he's the last of my family. We've been reunited by a program called the Make A Space-Wish (Swish) Foundation and we're supposed to meet on this planet. I don't know his name, I don't know his ship, but it's imperative that I find him and if there's anything that you can do to help, well gee-willikers it would just mean the gosh-darn galaxy to me.

The officer tells Mr. Sicarian that he can pass the photo around and see if anyone has seen him.

Mr. Sicarian: Actually, I've been sold to a slave ship and I have to leave tomorrow and he was kind of my last hope to...

Even though Mr. Sicarian is saying all of this in his exo-suit, the officer looks over at Prosper like he is the slaver scum who Mr. Sicarian is "sold to". Mr. Sicarian reaches into his suit, pulls out a cred stick, and hands it to the officer, saying that it is the last of his money and that it won't do him any good now that he is a slave. Mr. Sicarian and Prosper then head back to the Swan Song, leaving the officer at his desk with tears streaming down his face, mumbling that he will try and find his uncle as best as he can.

With one last-ditch effort, Prosper calls up Rajani Van Dorne and asks if she can help find the mysterious man in the photo. Rajani tells him that he and his crew are in over their heads because the man in that picture is Constantine Fang, a deadly assassin/bounty-hunter/war-criminal.

Constantine FangEdit

Swish on

Keep Calm and SWISH on by HarpyLady

Back at the Swan Song’s bridge, Higgins tells everyone that they can bring any weaponry they want to the concert as long as they leave their laser rifles (and grenades) behind. Prosper then tells everyone that the person they are after is Constantine Fang. Higgins has heard the name before. It is rumored that he only takes dead or alive jobs because he enjoys killing people. It is also rumored that he has killed the president/high-priest of some religion and that he has worked for many large corporations such as the Pfotenhauer Society, the Majid Mandarinate, and the Madari Syndicate. Wu's eyes go wide when he hears Fang’s name mentioned. He tells the crew that he had previously worked on Fang’s ship and that the inside of it looks like a BDSM torture chamber mixed with a prison. Wu gives Higgins the ship's unique ID and says that it is called the Gacy.

Higgins finds that the Gacy’s docked on Strophios. When he connects to the ship through a live video-feed, the shadow of a man’s face is all that can be seen. Being the silver-tongue that he is, Higgins calmly introduces himself and asks Fang if he is there to kill Laura or Lucas McCrary. Fang coldly replies that he is there to kill them both. When Higgins asks if Lucas McCrary is going to be there, Fang tells him no and cancels the connection. Higgins then informs the crew that he will be staying on the ship because he doesn't want to die. Higgins hands over his ticket and the rest of the crew prepare to depart for the concert.

The ConcertEdit

The night of the concert is finally here. A bird’s-eye-view of the arena shows that there is already a large crowd that has accumulated hours before the concert is scheduled to begin. Around the arena is a dome that is brightly lit with orange and pink light. There are holograms, lasers, and all other sorts of lights that can be seen shooting up into the night sky. It is quite a formidable sight for the crowd of people waiting to get in.

Crew season2

Swan Song Crew Season 2 by simonpe610

The crew of the Swan Song (minus Higgs) gets out of their vehicle and heads into the arena. With the concert beginning in only half an hour, the crowd of over 100,000 people creates a deafening noise. Using their backstage passes, the crew arrives at the VIP lounge. The atmosphere is rather calm in this area despite the noise of the crowd overcoming the dampening insulation of the lounge. The inside of the VIP area has a purple tint to it. Situated all around the room are many leather couches and table-sets that have hors d'oeuvres placed on top of them. Wu begins to trifle through Nika Starlight swag that he finds laid out on a table. While the rest of the crew gets comfortable watching the bustling crowd outside of the lounge window, waiting for the concert to begin, Laura McCrary steps into the lounge with a small crowd of brightly-dressed people who are all conversing and laughing with each other. Laura looks over at the crew but gives no further acknowledgement of their presence as she walks off towards the bar area.

You Can’t Keep Me DownEdit

The camera fades in onto a dressing room door that has a large pink star hanging on it with the words 'Nika Starlight' written in yellow letters. You hear a nearby man's voice say, "It's time Nika." Nika cheerfully grins and says, "Let's do it!" She puts up two fingers, winks at the camera, and then bounds out of the room. As she walks into the shadow of a dark hallway, the echoes of the crowd boom louder.

Watching from the VIP lounge window, the crew begins to see pyrotechnics go off as the arena music gets quieter, and the sound of the crowd grows louder. Wu runs over to the window and puts his hands up to his face, clearly having forgotten the crew’s purpose of being at the concert in the first place. The stage lights dim and the crowd goes wild. An announcer comes over the loud-speaker and says, “She came all the way from Majid. She wouldn’t let the prophet keep her down. She’s here. One more show for Strophios. Here she is! Nika Starlight!” The noise emanating from the crowd is almost like that of an earthquake in terms of the jarring feeling in the bones of the crew. At stage center, smoke begins to rise as the floor irises open and Nika Starlight elevates from the stage below and begins to sing.

Inevitable ConfrontationsEdit

Doctor i seem to have a bblarlargh

Doctor I seem to have a... *bblarlargh* by MarkWester

The concert continues for an hour without any troubles. Wu stays entranced by Nika Starlight but the rest of the crew continue to look around for any signs of Constantine Fang. Prosper hears the ding of the elevator and when he looks over to see who it is, Fang is standing there with two pistols holstered at his side. Immediately upon seeing this, Prosper takes a shot at Fang, but the shot ricochets off of a protective shield that forms around him. Against all odds, the shot bounces off of the shield right into the back of Laura McCrary, knocking her unconscious. Piani immediately rushes to Laura and uses her psychic powers to stabilize her as the two of them begin to hobble out of the room. Mr. Sicarian turns to Fang and suddenly feels a tingling sensation move from the tips of his toes all the way up to his head. This sensation then escapes from his body in the form of black tendrils that lunge towards Fang and seep into his mind. Fang falters for a few seconds which gives two nearby security officers the time that they need to fire off a couple rounds in Fang’s direction. Fang quickly regains composure, pulls out one of the guns from his side, and fires at one of the nearby security officers. The security officer ducks out of the way and in his place is a small flash of light. Immediately following the flash of light, various small objects from around the room fly inwards towards the light and disappear, the whole occurrence never making a single sound. Seeing that the bullets didn’t work, Mr. Sicarian closes in on Fang with his monoblade. With the help of Fang’s protective shield, Mr. Sicarian is unable to bring his monoblade close enough to harm him. After some grappling, Fang pulls out a wand from his belt and jabs Mr. Sicarian with it. Mr. Sicarian feels a surge of energy pulse through him as he is brought down to his knees, almost losing consciousness. Finding an opening, Prosper hits fang with a shot from his pistol and blood splatters onto Mr. Sicarian’s exo-suit. Fang then calmly takes aim at one of the security guards and shoots. In an instant, everything from the guard’s knees and above compresses together and then vanishes. Mr. Sicarian goes to grab at Fang again. When Fang opens his mouth to yell, no sound can be heard as black tendrils emanating from Mr. Sicarian fill his lungs. Fang falls down onto the floor screaming, his eyes pitch black. The shield from Fang repels Mr. Sicarian back, preventing him from doing any further damage. Still ridden with shock, Fang grabs his gun, shoots the glass looking outwards towards the stage, and jumps out of the window. Prosper and Mr. Sicarian quickly run over to the window. They look down at the ground and see Fang safely land 20 feet below. Fang rapidly runs into the surprised crowd of people and vanishes from sight. Prosper then radios to Higgins that Fang is headed over to his ship and that he is badly injured. Higgins hangs up the phone, sighs, and finishes the alcoholic drink he is holding.

Status Report Edit

Crew StatusEdit

  • Casualties:

Ship StatusEdit

  • Hull Integrity:

Criminal ActivitiesEdit

  • New Crime:


  • Credits Acquired:
  • Credits Spent:
  • Jobs In Progress:
  • Jobs Completed:
  • Debt Paid Off On Swan Song:
  • Current Debt On Swan Song: