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Week 18 Part One Transcript
JP: hello, welcome to swan song, i don't know what's going on anymore. We decided to say fuck the hype song, because we're already a couple minutes late. Xsplit has this cool new feature where when you start local recording, it mutes the stream, and you have to record it...ER, start recording, prior to going live, so i don't know how we're gonna do the different parts here, uh, going into hour two three and four.

Wheat: awesome!

JP: it's a nice feature, i quite like it, it's...IT'S Good.

Adam: laughs

JP: uhhh lets play catchup with everyone, cuase it's been a while since we had an episode. Adam, you played some uh, some gta with the Rockstar Community today, how was that?

Adam: i did, it was... Interesting,

JP: yeah?

Adam: yeah, they were having the same problems that we did, uh, in that uh connecting to a game...I Would say that half the time we were online was people being like “can i get an invite? I need to get in this race.”

Wheat: awwww...

JP: that sucks.

Adam: the actual play was really fun! The game looks amazing. I played it with a controller for the driving this time and it was way less obnoxious.

Steven: mmmm...

Adam: we were doing a bunch of like community maps and stuff. A few of them were really good, there was this awesome like, go-cart thing that we did that i really liked.

JP: they have go-carts in that game?

Adam: yeah, well it was like the person made a go-cart map, and we were driving golf carts around on the map

Wheat: laughs

Adam: it was pretty funny.

JP: i didn't even know that existed.

Wheat: that sounds awesome.

JP: that sounds great, yeah.

Adam: yeah...yeah, it was good.

JP: why is my...my camera is

Geoff: i liked your selfies, by the way, from earlier, when you were with JP streaming, that was so fuckin' funny.

Adam: yeah, that's like my new favorite thing. I'm just gonna join insane matches, and I'm just gonna take pictures of everything. Me and burnerman were toolin around in his plane, i guess, and i was just taking pictures of stuff.

JP: yeah...

Adam: yeah, pretty funny.

Geoff: that's ridiculous.

JP: how long did uh, how long did you guys play? I'm like curious about that because i was originally supposed to be in that but...

Adam: we played for about two hours, and i guess it was like, me and ryan, and kaitlyn, a bunch of people from the gta community, and uh which obviously they were like level 400 and like the best stuff

JP: yeah, i saw that they had a bunch of levels on us...

Adam: but uh, yeah a bunch of those guys and some of the people at rockstar, it was pretty funny.

JP: cool!

Adam: it was good! I feel like, that game, it they like put work into fixing the matchmaking, and like getting people into your game fast, it'd be really fun, but uh, yeah until then it's gonna be a little, you gotta be patient.

JP: yeah, me and wheat tried playing over the weekend and i don't know if you ever went back to it wheat, but we tried a heist like three times in a row and it just kinda like didn't work.

Wheat: just sayin' like when it did work, it was working. But then

Adam: yeah, totally

Wheat: sometimes, it would just say “not gonna work anymore”

Adam and JP: yeah

Wheat: that was unfortunate.

Adam: speaking of playing games with wheat, wheat, when are we gonna play heroes? I see you online playing cooperative all by yourself

Geoff: wow, i like this

JP: whooaaa

Wheat: what? I haven't played heroes

Geoff: mr. Suit wheat, too busy to play games with lowly old adam – here's the real answer adam, get 3000 twitter followers, and then Wheat will have a fuckin' minute for you, alright?

Steven: that's the limit.

Wheat: i have not played heroes in a solid two weeks.

Adam: i dunno, i saw you a while back

Wheat: i...YOU Probably have seen me playing hearthstone...

Steven: wheat's gonna be like “oh, that was, that was mini, playing on my channel, it wasn't me!”

Adam: it's fine, it's cool

Steven: in fact, that's probably preferable, so wheat, like, when is mini gonna play with me and adam on heroes?

Wheat: he hasn't, he hasn't jumped on heroes yet you guys, i don't know what's up with that. Not his thing, not his thing.

Adam: pretty fun, I'm suprised at how much i don't hate that game but if you ever decide to lower yourself to play a game with your poor pathetic gm, well, I'll be here man, but until then...

Wheat: i...

Geoff: (laughing) “I'm surprised how much i don't hate that game.” If that wasn't an incredible way to put it.

Adam: it's true though! Like i went in, i specifically, like anybody who watched that first episode of me playing it, i was like “i fuckin hate MOBAs, I'm terrible at them, I'm gonna hate this...”...played It a couple times, and i was like “ehhhh, this isn't so bad!” And now i play it all the time.

Wheat: it's good, i enjoy it. It's a lot of fighting, i like fighting, it's like a MOBA fighting game.

Adam: it kinda is, yeah. What do they call it, it's like a uh...SOME Brawler, arena brawler, or something?

Wheat: goddd, what do they call it anything?

Geoff: not MOBA

Adam: it's not a MOBA, it's a...

Geoff: it's not a MOBA!

JP: did skype like, drop all the video for a half a second and then bring it all back, or am i like, high on subway sandwiches right now? What the fuck was that? I'm gonna watch the stream and see if that happened.

Wheat: subway sandwich!

JP: it totally did happen! I did not...whatever

Wheat: it did, i saw it too man

Steven: oh shit there it goes, okay, yep,yep

JP: that was weird...it's called an arena brawler i think?

Adam: i think it's like heroic or hero brawler or something

JP: yeah, I'm interested to watch the uh, the heroes of the dorm finals are this weekend and artosis and tasteless are casting a game once again that they've never seen or played, so!

Geoff: no, they're playing a lotta heroes actually

JP: are they really?

Geoff: they are, they are. They actually are. I, normally i would join right in with you, i love a good sell out, i love uh, those tank casts man are some of my favorites, the look on their faces at the beginning where like, (makes face)...people were captioning it and shit, it looked so good...I Guess the one that actually kinda didn't was day9, i mean he played the game as well obviously, and like he's just a fuckin' amazing caster no matter what he does, but uh, he took it on. They were like “hey, you wanna cast?” And he was like “sure, i played it three times.”

JP: yeah

Geoff: and then he casted in front of everybody and did a pretty good job,

JP: they put him up there with grubby and uh, and robin, or whatever, trixler, or whatever his new name is, yeah. Yeah he did good, i mean he did like the host role, where it's like “grubby, talk to me about what this actually does,” and it's like (laughs)

Geoff: day9 could cast, he could cast a game he's not even, that he's never even heard of. They could rip him off the street, throw him down, and he would make it sound good.

JP: that's probably true. So I'm gonna be watching that this weekend. I don't even know why we're...OH Yeah, because you guys, because wheat still won't play heroes with you that's true.

Adam: someday.

Geoff: he played with snoop dogg, i think, and uh, i believe, gaben, probably just plays up with gaben.

JP: Yeah.

Wheat: yeah, yeah.

JP: It's true, but he plays with the name reversed so no one actually knows it's him. That's how he gets around that. Adam, anything else you been up to?

Adam: just like, desperately awaiting some swan song... looking at my notes...

JP: I like the segway, but we still have to talk to three more people, Adam.

Adam: I’m just sayin', that's fine, lets move it along.

JP: you fucked it up. Steven, you've moved? I see you haven't fully finished that move yet.

Steven: yeah! Guys, hang on, lemme....here we go, oh...we're taking a trip.

Adam: In before Steven shows us something embarrassing.

Geoff: You still have...you still have like, your job and everything, right?

Steven: What? Yeah, of course. My work situation hasn't changed, I just moved to a new part of the city. Here's the futon, it's just on its side over there.

Geoff: You look like you got hit by a hurricane, bro!

Steven: my bedroom is back over there, you can actually see the bed. Yeah, it's it's a super awesome nice apartment, I'm super super stoked, um, and it's right on the canal, so it's a gorgeous area, and there's so much like, outdoorsy space right around it it's so great. But uh, I've had literally no time because of some overtime at work recently, so, you know, sometime maybe by next week I'll have this all cleaned up and actually have a liveable bedroom, but uh, until then, it's just cardboard boxes everywhere, man. They're really comfortable for sleeping on though, they support and cushion.

JP: Nice, nice. You got your new internet as well, how's that?

Steven: Yes, it seems as good as the old internet.

JP: is it faster?

Steven: No, I think it's like 25 down, 10 up or something like that, it's not crazy or anything.

Geoff: Based on the metric from Vietnam to middle of the country, where do you...

Steven: You know what, I'm straight middle America, y'know? There are no worries of Vietnam over here, so you, y'know 2 out of 3 Gms.

Geoff: and if Neal had internet right now, he'd be pissed about that joke.

JP: This is all a true statement – uh, I'm trying to think...are you excited – I guess this a question for both you and Geoff, and maybe for everyone else, did you guys see the total war warhammer announcement?

Steven: Dude, that cinematic is slick as hell, it looks so good, and the Total war games are so fun so I can't wait, I think it's gonna be great.

JP: I didn't care so much for the cinematic, I just wanted to see two giant armies just running at each other, like in game, and that coulda been the trailer!

WHEAT: and then pause, and then zoom in really close and be like “This guy's about to get owned!”

Geoff: There was a fateweaver that came in the smoke outta the book too. I like that that guy's like “And they have monsters, and bad guys, and oh, the book turned and I'm a bad guy, soooo....”

Steven: He was like, talking to sigmar first right, so like y'know, he must've gone a little off the deep end.

JP: They did fuck up guys

Geoff: A lotta people think sigmar is the emperor, by the way.

Steven: Well...what? Isn't that...

Geoff: There's theories, there's theories. They also think the fantasy warhammer is a planet within the 40k universe.

Steven: That's obviously what's going on, here...

Adam: That's a prevalent theory I've heard.

Steven: It's a shame that like, Eternal Crusade is going to go send some ships to go destroy the Warhammer planet. That's what the end times is actually all about, you guys heard it here first!

JP: Wait, is that actually a theory?

Steven: no, it's not actually a theory.

Adam: No, Warhammer being a planet in the 40k universe is totally a thing.

JP: That's a real thing?

Geoff, Steven, Adam: Yep.

Adam: Or like another plane, but

Steven: It's cause all the gods are the same, right, so y'know

Geoff: and they've had, it's pretty funny, they've had crossovers of like, like Drago is this gray knight who got sucked into the warp and has been fighting demons for like 20000 years, it's the most metal thing you've ever heard in your life, and then he actually came out with a codex for fantasy warhammer, and they're like “and I peered into the chaos, and I saw a sparkly gray knighted gigantic man doing battle with demons!” and everyone's like “that's drago! He's fuckin stuck there too!”

JP: Ahhh, interesting.

Geoff: They try to, they love their little chaos theories.

Adam: Hah, chaos theory.

JP: I see what you did there.

Geoff: Hey-o

JP: Well, I'm glad you're all moved in, glad you got internet Steven.

Steven: Thank you JP

JP: Glad things are going well -

Steven: Yep, everything's comin' up Millhouse!

JP: There you go! There you go! Uh, Wheat I had a, I had something I wanted to talk to you about but now I don't remember.

Wheat: I'm sure you did

JP: How you doin' man? Oh you're going to Chicago this weekend, that's right.

Wheat: I'm going to Chicago...

JP: You sound SO excited to be going to the windy city...

Wheat: I am excited to go, but understand that I am not excited for the three days of work that I will rack up on the tail end of this as a result of going. Y'know, it's mixed emotions.

JP: I see.

Wheat: I dunno what else to say. I haven't been doing much other than working. It's kind of shitty, actually. But great! But great. Totally great!

JP: Did uhhhhh....we haven't talked in a couple days, did they leave the hoodie for you at the office for the Swan Song thing?

Wheat: I dunno, but I will check, we'll find out!

JP: Yeah I dunno, I didn't hear from them back today, so...apparently so they, so Twitch announced, you guys announced like last week I guess with TeeSpring that they're allowing partners to do hoodies, and I guess a lot of the test prints were used with the Swan Song design logo. They're in the office to like, show it off? So there's apparently like I don't know how many, but there's a handful of hoodies that will only ever be printed with the Swan Song thing on it, that are being shipped to me right now so, we'll see how many I get, and I'll send 'em y'alls way.

Wheat: I messaged JP I was like “Tell them to leave one for meeee!” and that was about it.

Geoff: I'd wear the shit outta that, yeah.

Wheat: I have been trying to catch up on some television though, some movies, y'know, stuff like that. I'm almost through with Daredevil.

JP: Yeah?

Wheat: Yep.

JP: That's good. You should watch bloodlines, by the way. Everyone should watch bloodlines, it's a good show.

Wheat: Saw you tweet about that.

Adam: I have a hard time, because they like, fuckin' Netflix was JAMMING that shit down my throat for such a long time,

JP: I had never heard of it.

Adam: I was like “Whoa, chill your shit Netflix.”

JP: I had never heard of it. And then I watched all 10, well I'm on episode 11 or 13. It's really, really really really tense towards the final, and the show opens up in the sense that you know what's eventually gonna happen, it basically shows you parts from what I guess is the final episode,

Wheat: and then it unfolds.

JP: and it goes back, and like starts out when everyone’s like, happy?

Geoff: Oh wow, one of those.

JP: Yeah. But it's good, it's kinda melodramatic, but it's...I'm enjoying it. As long as it doesn't suck as much of the final episode of Daredevil, I'm okay.

Geoff: Yeah, that's what people are saying. Don't spoil it, but everyone says they love the show, but there's a few people that say the final episode is pretty poopy.

JP: Yeah. Yeah, we talked about that at length on Dropped Frames, for, well, for five minutes, so you can watch that there, we spoil the shit out of it if you've already watched it. Uh.... anything else, Wheat?

Wheat: Thanks for the heads up...uh, no, if you're gonna go be in Chicago, C2E2,

JP: (laughing) If you're gonna be in Chicago, because no one lives there

Wheat: Well, maybe someone lives, y'know, five miles out, they, maybe 15 miles out, they work a farm, uh, south of Chicago, JP, they're coming into the city,

Steven: If you're a farmer who lives near, but not in Chicago, and you're watching RollPlay right now, definitely go say hello to Wheat, he would like to talk to you...

Adam: Agriculture and livestreaming.

DJ: If you're gonna be there, I'd love to see some friendly faces.

JP: Wait, Crendor lives there? Is Crendor from Chicago?

Wheat: See bitches? And he's a farmer, so fuck all y'all, booyah,

Geoff: He's a WoW farmer

Wheat: See? Exactly! Thank you.

JP: Crendor is fuckin crazy, I'm just letting you guys know. Steven, you're gonna have a rough time...I think I might've fucked you over with getting him to play RnD.

Steven: oh uh, we'll see.

JP: Have you been reading the RnD chat?

Steven: Yeah, of course!

JP: Every day it's like “Welp, wonder what weird shit Crendor's gonna post in here today.”

Steven: Yep, it's like roulette. It's RnD roulette.

JP: Yeah, we brought it up yesterday on the Co-Optional. Yesterday's topic was that he was linking us youtube articles where Satanists were melting babies and making candles out of them, and this was

Steven: What?! Well, we had that long talk about ASMR...

Adam: I'd rather have a big-ass candle than a baby, so

JP: Yeah, I'm kinda with you on that.

Geoff: If this actually happened, I'm not entirely comfortable making jokes about it...


JP: When it's that bad, you just have to. Like, that's how you..

Steven: No, it's gonna be crazy and entertaining, but uh, you guys are kinda already crazy and entertaining.

Geoff: Hey uh, why don't you do something constructive and bring Dark Heresy back, Steven, you son of a bitch?

Wheat: Ohhhhhhhh

JP: I was just like...uh...Yeah! Yeah, why not!

Geoff: Cuz it's Steven's fault!

JP: It's all Steven’s fault.

Steven: Blame Steven.

JP: Hashtag Blame Steven. Uhhh....sorry, some annoying person is trying to text me who wants to get unbanned from the chat. Uh, Geoff, last but not least...

Geoff: Texting you?

JP: Yes. Uh, anything else? I guess what've you been up to, not anything else. Thrown off! My game is off. The texts scrambled my brain. What're you doin'

Geoff: Same old for me, playing a lot of Warhammer, new army is getting worked on right now, it's the Skitarii, which I'm really excited about.

Steven: Are you getting any special like, color scheme, are you going like standard mechanicus colors, what's going on

Geoff: Yeah, a lotta people, a lotta people, they like my yellow, striking nids, they're very different that way, but with the adeptus mechanicus I was just like “just gimme the original Mars colors,” and they were like “really, you don't want anything different?” and I was like “nah I want the mars ones.”

Steven: The mars colors are fan-fuckin-tastic.

Geoff: I love it! I think they look amazing, so I'm really excited about it, good to see some giant robots, great fluff, and it's my first other army, and I've been playing this game for 17 years, so it's kinda weird. New territory for me. Other than that, just been playing a lot of starcraft, CS:GO, and uh...

JP: Have you ranked up?

Geoff: Yeah, I'm MG1, I've been MG2 before, and then I immediately de-rank, and I'm finding that I'm finally at the level where you can't just solo queue and play anymore. Like, if you don't have three or four people you're playing with and it's not school hours, you're gonna get fucked on. We were playing these guys, it was such a...cuz in Starcraft when you hit a hacker, you can still have a chance, like it's garbage and it's tough, or you lose and whatever, but in a competitive match, we were up like 11-5, like not even that much, this guy goes “Welp, since you guys are fucking hackers” - and I'm streaming by the way - “I'm gonna flip on!” So he just turns on his aimbot, that just auto-headshots whatever gun he has, in any direction, everywhere, all the time, and they were like “LOLOL U MAD #GETFUCKED YOU GUYS ARE HORRIBLE,” their whole team is garbage but there's this one guy like “bumpbumpbump” just headshots everywhere, and you can't get him, it's not possible to beat him, and you're stuck in this! So eventually after like 10 rounds of us just getting donked by this kid who thinks we were hacking, so he turns on his hack, so we've got like my friend over here is setting himself on fire, this guy just left the game immediately, and I looked up and I was like “This is a fucking TERRIBLE game sometimes, like CS:GO is the worst game ever made sometimes. Cuz if I leave, it's like a 30 minute ban or a day ban y'know, I can't leave, I'm stuck in that shit.”

Wheat: It's still, fuckin' mind-blowing, that after all these years, this is still a problem.

JP: Yeah, that you can still hack.

Geoff: And we were like “why are you doing this? Like, you will get banned, and they will reverse the results, it is actually just carving out 30 minutes of my life and throwing it onto the fire.” and he's like “lawl virgin nerd I've got a workaround.” and I'm like “(laughs)” It's just so...and sometimes, you get subjected to that.

Wheat: Can we please, can we just take a moment of silence for Geoff's 30 minutes of life?

Geoff: By the way, Wheat, you'll like this – I was playing CS:GO with slasher – that guy is hilarious. He's just a natural good FPS player, so he's pretty good, but he has the most chill, calm demeanor all the time, and he feeds like a bottom sucking fish – he eats the detritest of bad manners, people will be like “Yo, slasher, get the fuckin' B you horrible, horrible human!” and he'll be like “I'm on my way, cool your tits.” and they'll be like “No you shut the fuck up! I hate you, you're horrible!” and he's just like “I'm on my way dude, just stop, okay?” and the other guy's just like “Don't fuckin tell me to stop! Muted, bitch.” and he's just like, nothing unnerves him. He just shows up and does his job. But I'm laughin' my ass off, because I join in, try to get a rise out of slasher, and you can't!

JP: I didn't know you were playing with him. He talked a lot of shit at PAX East to me, Wheat, and Scoots, about how he's better

Geoff: He loves talkin' shit.

Wheat: He does it all wrong. Right, he talks shit to his closest friends instead of being like “Hey we should totally play sometime.”

JP: Yeah, because now I've just never played with him because he talks so much shit.

Wheat: He's like “Yeah, I'll fuck you up, motherfu-” and I'm like why...why'd you come at me

JP: He tries to start a rivalry before we even play, and I'm just like “Well I don't wanna play with this guy!”

Geoff: It's all bark, it's all bark, he's totally great to play with he just does his job, and doesn't make fun of you at all. It's fine.

Wheat: I know, it is, it's just...

JP: We'll have to play...I definitely – next – when do you play, like, I don't even know when you play anymore, Geoff, every time I watch your stream, it's StarCraft.

Geoff: It's like nighttime – I can play anytime, just message me we'll play. I love it, I'm enjoying it. I enjoy playing with my friends. Like I said, I'll come over and I'll be like “Oh, I've got my morning, just waking up, uh, let's just play a game of CS:GO, oh, okay, this guy's name is the n-word combined with every genitalia part, okay, what a strat -” I'm like “I'm going B!” and they're like “FUCK YOU FAGGOT” and you're like “well that's awfully mean of you” and they just headshot you and you're like “I'm stuck in this game for..” and they're like “lol afk” and it's 3 vs 5 and you just are in it. For an hour. And you're just like.

Wheat: These are the guys, they're just like so mad they had to go to school, or go to work, so they like just fired up a game, fucked around, the bus came, they're like hahaha, idiot,

Geoff: And I can't help it, I'm like, I don't like, get mad, but I'm like “Guys, why are you doing this? Just play, it'll go over faster.” and they're like “LOL U MAD ASSHOLE FAGGOT” they're like “HE'S MAD HE'S MAD” just like jumping up and down, they're like shooting in the air and shit..

Adam: How is it, how is it that the internet is populated by assholes and oompa-loompas, how did that happen to us? How did we get here?

Geoff: The best is when they are actually nine years old, and they're like, I've had that too, where they're like, they're actually kinda good, but they're shot calling from bottom frag, they're like “go B, go B” and I'm like “No, they're over here at A I see bomb” and he's like “There's three at B, stupid asshole!” and you're like “But the bomb's over here, isn't this an objective game?” and he goes “Fuck you, you're 4 and 6!” and I'm like “You're 1 and 8! What are you talking about!” and he's like “I'm not even trying, my ping's set to max, fuck off!” and I'm like “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH” like...and that's what I do half the day.

Wheat: Oh my God.

JP: I tried playing on a day stream, and that was my exact experience! Like, the kids got out of school, right when I start the stream, and for the next four hours, will continue as the country has different time zones to get out school, and you just have a terrible experience. It's not fun.

Wheat: Can I tell you, you just like, reminded me, and it hasn't happened in a while, but for a while miniWheat was playing a ton of Team Fortress, y'know, and like every once in a while, most of the time he played with totally awesome people, but every once in a while he'd come across the guys and they'd be all like “How old are you, like, 12?” y'know, Xbox live bullshit, brought over to Team Fortress, and there was one time, where like I could hear miniWheat and he yells like “No! I'm 7! And I'm not a girl!” or something like that, y'know, and I'm just like, I look over, I'm like, “Well, he's gotta learn.” y'know, like, so like, I'll keep an open ear, keep one earphone open, wait a little bit, and I'll hear something like “No! I told you, I'm 7 years – I was born in 2005!” and I finally go over and I'm like “miniWheat, what'd he say?” and he'll say “He was saying bad words, and he is calling me a girl, a 6-year old girl that plays TF2!” and I just pick it up, I'm like “Yo kid, what'd you say?” and all the sudden it's just like silence, just absolute silence.

Steven: Do you use the dad voice?

Wheat: No, I'm just like “What'd you say to my kid?”

Geoff: Got 'em!

Adam: I can make the internet hate you.

JP: There you go!

Geoff: The other experience too, one last thing before we start, and this is a classic, I'm finding, it's Valve really, but it's the Brazilians, the Peruvians, or the Russians, which are like, this like, this infestation that occurs, and I've always heard the legend, but never had it, until I got a team of guys, and their names are just like BananaSlip and like, uh, like OrangeFeetRed and the other guy's name is like RhinocerousButt and you're like “Oh that's kinda random.” and then you start the game and you're like how you guys doin', no response. Okay, whatever, it's the internet, that happens, you're like “Alright, I'll go B.” and you hear like “Looshnuvabush.” and you're like “Excuse me? What'd you say?” and then there's like, nothing – their characters will look at you, too, and that's the funniest, just dead stare, and they've got the gun and the knife coming out, the gun and the knife, and you're like “I'm at B I guess!” and you hear “Karishnikov, buboy” - and the whole game, they just don't give a fuck, and then they'll yell at you sometimes, and say “my friend” and “penis.” “My friend” and “penis” is all they could say. They'd be like “Get the AWP my friend. Penis him later.” and I'm like “I don't...”...it was weird.

JP: There you go. Uhhhh, that's it for the show, we'll see you next week, we don't have anything else to say. Where did we last leave off? Oft? Off. That's the word I want – Adam?

Adam: I owe Geoff a roll.

Geoff: We came dangerously close to getting rekt, but we didn't actually get rekt.

Adam: Yeah, some NPCs got crushed into a tiny sphere, but yes, none of you were rekt. Um, uh, yeah things of note yeah, so yeah, you're at the Nika Starlight concert, um, with the intent to flush out the bounty hunter who's after the, your current employer, um, Lady, uh, Lord Lara McCreary. So, this guy, Constantine, he's showed up there in like the VIP box, there was some brief gunplay, Mr. Sicarian erupted black tendrils of terror into him, which bought Piani some time to get Lord McCreary the fuck outta there, some security guys got hit with a weird singularity gun, and as we were ending, Constantine had made a break for the window, and jumped out and landed in the crowd, and kinda disappeared into the crowd, but, yeah Geoff you asked me if there were attacks of opportunity, and I said no, but there are, so you get a free shot on this guy, as he's leaving you get to take a swing at him. Why don't you do that for me? His armor class is 2.

Geoff: 2? I'm normally, I think, +4 for Close combat? Monoblade is 2 I think, and then I have close combat, er I have uh, well I dunno, we have to walk through this every time, at least for me I guess.

Adam: That's fine. You have combat primitive weapons, um, and that's at one, I think?

Geoff: It's at 0, I think.

Adam: Okay, so no penalty. You have your base attack bonus, actually I have it written here – your monoblade attack bonus is +2 to hit. So, roll a d20, add four.

Geoff: Alright.

Adam: So as Constantine is fleeing from you, you lash out, and yeah, just barely miss cutting him with your monoblade, and then the rest of it happens – so he takes a shot at the window, jumps out, and just before he lands, activates his like, whatever, landing device, and the Prosper, you chase him up to the window to try and get a shot at him...

Steven: Yeah, I tried to pop-pop shoot at him, and I failed.

Adam: yeah, you took the shot, and then he disappeared into the crowd. So there was the perception roll to find him right from the beginning, like as he disappeared into the crowd, but you can run down and find him or whatever. Higgs, you’re on the ship, um, drunk off your ass, yeah. Higgs, you're there, Wu and the rest of the crew is at the concert, but I think Prosper you, you radioed, and were like “He's on his way back to the ship!”

Steven: Yeah, I told Higgs that uh, his name is Constantine?

Adam: Yeah, Constantine Feng.

Steven: Yeah, he's headed to his ship, likely, and that Higgs needs to get his ass over there. I think Higgs was like, in a state of drunken stupor and not likely to cooperate.

JP: I didn't answer, I just like, I think I just clicked off and didn't answer you, and that's right where we ended.

Steven: Yeah.

Adam: Okay. Um, so uh, Lord McCreary is with you, Piani, oh wait no, you're just the closest one to her, uh -

JP: Didn't she get shot by Steven?

Steven: She definitely got ricocheted.

Adam: Yeah, she got accidentally tagged.

Steven: I think she was unconscious as a result of that ricochet.

Wheat: So, I mean we actually left through the staircase. I came back, right, so, we went back and got her?

Adam: No no, I'm just saying everything will pick up where we left, so she's still down there, because you didn't bring her back up.

Wheat: Okay.

Adam: Um, yeah.

Wheat: So once I, I think once the guy leaves I immediately go turn back.

Adam: Okay, so you wanna go back to McCreary?

Wheat: Run down and try to get her, yeah. He just left out the window, right?

Adam: Yeah, he shot the window, and then jumped out and landed in the crowd which like, spread, and at this point, I think the concert is still happening, like, there's chaos, and like the security for the concert has been made aware, but they haven't really had a chance to like, shut things down yet. So still, pummeling noise, huge crowd, it's very dark, punctuated by bright flashes of light from the stage.

Steven: Nobody's noticed our kerfuffle, other than...

Adam: well, if you think about it, like, laser weapons are quiet, right, like – breaking glass, nobody would've heard that, there's the weird popping noise that the uh, mass gun makes, and the lasers don't make any sound, so...

Wheat: So I guess like, seeing, seeing his escape, and leaving the room, I would instantly be like “Well shit, if we lose her at this concert, that's bad.” so I would just turn tail and try to run after her down the staircase.

Adam: Okay, so you wanna, you wanna stick to her?

Wheat: Yeah.

Adam: Okay.

Wheat: To try to bring her back.

Adam: You wanna bring her back up, you don't wanna like, go out and try to get her away from here?

Wheat: Well, I don't wanna do it alone.

Adam: Okay, sure, so you haven't left yet. So, Mr. Sicarian and Prosper, what are you two doing?

Geoff: I kinda peer down the window, trying to see if I saw where he landed, we checked, I don't, so I kinda sheath my monoblade, then check on Prosper, say “If there was ever a chance of us getting him, and we know where his ship is, this is it.”

Steven: “I agree, should we pursue to the ship?”

Geoff: “Yes.”

Steven: “Let's go!”

Adam: So, let's cut over to Higgs, Higgs, you're still on the Swan Song, what're you doing?

JP: Well, when I get that – was it a text, or did you actually call me?

Steven: I think I comm'd you, yeah. I just like, flagged on the channel, yelled into it, and then, yeah...you hung up.

JP: uh, and you told me that he was going back to his ship?

Steven: Yeah. 'Cause we know where his ship is, right, it's like, near ours?

Adam: It's in the same, like, there's only one docking facility in the, in the port.

Steven: 'Cause I remember like, I told Higgs to like go sneak on to his ship earlier, he was like “Fuck you Prosper.”

Adam: I believe there was some talk of a dwarf, or something, on the ship?

Steven: Yeah, he's got a dwarf midget protecting his ship.

JP: That's true. Well, um, I would say that like right when Prosper sends me that, I would text or comms or send a message to the, like, the security, the dock security, and also alert all of the local authorities that this is the guy's ship that just caused whatever at the Nika starlight concert, and if you want to apprehend the criminal like go over there. Or go to the ship.

Adam: Sure.

JP: And then I don't physically do anything. I just sit there.

Adam: Just call the popo on him and hope they deal with it?

JP: Yeah, yeah. And then I text back to Prosper or I like I comms back to Prosper and I just type in like “called cops, they'll deal with him. See you soon”

Steven: I shout back “Mr. Higgins, we need to interrogate him as to the whereabouts of Lord McCreary, we need him intact!”

JP: So that's just the message that I read in your voice. I just respond like “Oh.”

Adam: And this of course, means war.

JP: And then I just hang up or stop comms. And then I just hang out.

Adam: Alright. Sicarian and Prosper, back at the thing. So Piani is looking at you expectantly like, “hey let's go get our friend,” what do you wanna do?

Steven: I'm like “Piani! You need to handle Lady McCreary, we are in pursuit!”

Wheat: “What do you want me to do with her? Do you want me to take her back to the ship?”

Steven: “Uh, No, that is not a good idea, because I think the assassin is heading that direction. You should get her back to her house, and keep her safe. See if you can take her backstage and meet Nika Starlight, goddammit, go!”

Wheat: “Alright, I gotcha!”

Steven: I'm just like, looking around for like, landspeeders or whatever, y'know.

Adam: You're still in the room, so...

Steven: I'm running, I'm leaving the room.

Adam: So you're gonna leave? You gonna take the elevator, or are you gonna take one of the stair ways?

Steven: Stairway. I don't wanna wait for that elevator. I don't even care if it's faster, I don't wanna wait. That's the problem.

Adam: Alright. So you run, uh, you run into the stairway, and start heading down into the main landing. You going with him, Sicarian?

Geoff: Yeah.

Steven: As I enter the stairway, I look carefully up, and then carefully down, to make sure there are no guns pointed at my head.

Adam: Okay. You're standing on a land mine.

Steven: Shit.

Adam: I'm just kidding.

Steven: Merde!

Adam: So as you, as you guys go to leave, like you're in a big hurry, uh, Wu, Wu is like “Uh...g-guys?” and then he puts his hands up like “What should I do, should I come with you, or...?”

Steven: Keep dancing!

Adam: Okay, so you want him to stay here?

Wheat: I'm not in the room, right?

Adam: Yeah, you are. This is the moment where everybody runs off.

Wheat: Oh, okay.

Adam: You're all about to break.

Wheat: “Fuckin' Wu, come with me.”

Adam: Okay, so he like, looks over his shoulder at the concert, and then back at you, and is like “Uh. Okay.” And he like, charges off after you. Alright, so, the two of you get down to where, uh...uh...McCreary is still in the stairwell. She's conscious, she's like, hurt, but not like bleeding or anything, and she looks up as you come down, and she seems kinda like, spacey, um, and uh, she's like “Uh, what's goin' on?”

Wheat: Lady McCreary, by the way, she's like, she got, I mean we've got backstage passes, right?

Adam: Yep! Yeah, you all have your passes on.

Wheat: Alright. “Well, darlin' you got hurt pretty bad...well, maybe not that bad, you're gonna be okay, but we're gonna go backstage, I'm sure they've got some medical attention that someone can give to ya, but more importantly they've got security, and we just gotta make sure you're safe. I'm gonna take Wu, you'll go with us, let's go.”

Adam: Okay. So you and Wu go, lead her backstage, so there's basically like hallways that run around the outside of the coliseum. So you guys are like, in the stands, you make your way down to the um, the walkway, and then you can go around the back to where the stage is. So while you're doing that, Prosper and Sicarian, you two come out into the main area, there's like concessions, a big merch booth, big advertising holograms everywhere, and a crowd of people that are still kind of in chaos, like people that know that something dangerous happened, and like glass was falling on them, they're trying to get out, but there's people coming back from the concession trying to get in, so there's like this crush of people trying to go in both directions at once. And of course, you can hear the noise pounding from the stage of the backing track. And again, it's this high-contrast environment with all these like lasers and holograms and shit. So what do you guys wanna do? You come out into the crowd, and it's just like noise.

Steven: So we're just gonna be stuck in this really slow, molasses line, trying to get out right?

Adam: Yeah, it's not even a line, right, it's just like a crush of people going different directions, yeah.

Steven: “Uh, Mr. Sicarian, do you have any flash-bangs?”

Geoff: He just raises his eyebrow at you.

Steven: Prosper doesn't have time for this bullshit, he brings out his laser rifle, aims it at the ceiling, goes pewpewpewpew, and then he goes “ALRIGHT EVERYBODY LISTEN UP!”

Adam: So, here's the thing, like

Geoff: And that's when he gets shot.

Adam: If it was a machine gun, that would be super impressive, like, but there's already so many lasers, that nobody even notices! Like, maybe the people standing next to you are like “Ah! Jesus, he has a gun!” but anybody at any distance just sees more pyrotechnics going off and stuff.

Steven: God damn it, let me look at my character sheet, what do I have on me? I've got...I've got a grapnel launcher. Yeah, I should just like, grapnel my way, swing past this crowd! Um, shit. “Mr. Sicarian, that's the only idea I had.”

JP: How long has it been, Adam, since Prosper contacted me?

Adam: Uhhh, like 5 minutes.

JP: Okay.

Geoff: I -

JP: Oh, go ahead, no go ahead.

Geoff: To answer Prosper's thing I just start pushing through people, like, not shoving them to the ground, just y'know, pretty forcibly pushing past them.

Adam: Okay, and you're trying to just get out?

Geoff: Yeah.

Adam: Okay. Can you make a, uh, check of some kind? Let's take a look here...uh, make an athletics check.

Geoff: I don't have anything in athletics, so that's 2d6...

Adam: 2d6-1.

Steven: Does strength apply?

Adam: Yeah he doesn't have a strength bonus. Okay, so I think you can get yourself out no problem Mr. Sicarian, but there's a point where you and Prosper get separated. So you, you push through the crowd, get a little bit turned around, but then get out into the, the where the turnstiles are and stuff, it's a little clearer – the air quality changes immediately, it's way less humid, and less noisy, 'cause you passed through the opening doors, and you turn around to look, and Prosper is not there. Prosper, you're trying to follow Mr. Sicarian, but you get like, jostled to one side, you end up, yeah you end up like, Sicarian cuts across to the doors, and end up kinda over here, and you're like, in front of the big concession stand. There are a bunch of people, like, on their comms, being like “Something's going on at the concert!” and like “I don't know what to do!” Because it's a concert, they're like yelling into their phones, and they're all trying to yell over each other, and yeah, you just find yourself shoved out into this little open space.

Steven: Oh my God, groans, Prosper just kinda stands and groans. Um......my character sheet is a little off somehow, that's really weird. Yeeesssss....

Adam: What're you looking for?

Steven: It's compressed in some strange way and I don't know why. Yeah, I opened it in a new thing and that didn't work. Jesus, okay, I look back towards the exit, what do I see, like what's my path to the exit, what do I see, what's the easiest path?

Adam: There's like the crowd of people like pushing out, there's the main exit, do you wanna make a tactics roll?

Steven: Yeah!

Adam: Let's try to find your way out of here.

Steven: Ohhhhh, my God. I am not good at tactics right now.

JP: Nice.

Adam: Okay, you're like, looking around, and, uh, you're trying to find your way out, you start to panic a little bit, like “Fuck, I can't get outta here, I lost Mr. Sicarian, so you turn around, and you're looking right down the barrel of that mass pistol. It's like, pointed in your face, Constantine -

Steven: Aw, sweet!

Adam: Constantine's got it like right in your face, and he's like “Hands up.” and everybody else is like “Oh shit!” and starts to like, get away.

Steven: Yeah, um....uhhhhhhh.....

Adam: Before you do anything crazy, he's literally got pointed AT your face.

Steven: You're making a very courteous, uh -

Geoff: Adam, it's fine, he's been here before. Let's roll for initiative -

JP: Where are the stairs located in relation to Prosper's character? Is this a stair creating gun, what are we dealing with here?

Geoff: Oh wow, that'd be horrifying.

JP: Yeah, it just creates stairs when you...

Geoff: It hits you in the head, and just creates stairs behind you.

Adam: To be fair, the gun does make you fall, but it makes all of you fall inward.

Steven: Can I somehow, surreptitiously open a channel to Pi?

Adam: Um....yeah, we've never really established like what the comms gear is like, um...what kind of communication equipment is it? Is it just a commpad?

Steven: I assumed it was like an earpiece.

Adam: What does it say on your character sheet?

Wheat: We have a comm server, that I purchased, that through our...

Adam: And if he had it with him, he could maybe hit the guy over the head with it, but, I need to know what kind of like handheld equipment it is – you'll have to make like a dexterity check if it's just a commpad.

Steven: It doesn't actually say that I have it on my character sheet, Adam.

Adam: You don't even have it then, good job. That would be way too hard to retcon, so okay, it's just a regular commpad then. You can if you want to make like a stealth check, to surreptitiously like flick on the -

Steven: Okay. I'll do that. I'm trying to disguise this as part of my motion to put my hands up. What's my dex? Mmmmmm...where is this stuff, I don't know, what is going on, uh...do I have stealth?

Adam: Prosper, you don't have stealth, so it's gonna be a 2d6 at 0, because you have a plus one to your...

Steven: Ahhh, okay, okay – I'm a little bit smooth, I like, disguise it by putting my hand through my hair...

Adam: Okay, alright. And your intent was to open it to Pi?

Steven: Yeah. Just like, opening comms.

Adam: Okay. You can open it, but while you're in here, the noise is going to make it very difficult for anyone to understand you.

Steven: Okay. Like, I shout, I say, “Alright! Mr. Feng, you've got me!”

Geoff: Who do you open this comm up to?

Steven: Pi.

Adam: Okay. Alright, so Higgs, you can hear this conversation, Pi just pipes it through on the ship.

JP: Uh, okay, so I just hear, what were the exact words you just said Prosper?

Steven: I said “Okay Mr. Feng, you've got me.”

JP: I stand up, and all the debris that was on me for whatever reason just kinda falls to the ground, and I'm like staring up, and I just wait for the next thing to be said.

Adam: He just like, gestures for you to like, turn around.

Steven: I turn around.

Adam: He puts the gun in like, the small of your back, and he's like “Alright, walk. We're leaving.”

Steven: “Please, that tickles!”

JP: Do I hear everything that's just said?

Adam: Yeah, you hear most of what he said. You can hear Prosper perfectly, but the other guy, it's hard to make out.

JP: So do I hear him say “we're leaving?”

Adam: Yeah, I think you catch that part.

JP: Okay. The second I hear that, I say “Pi can you please put a tracking – find out where this is coming from.” and I start putting on my jeans, and my shirt, getting ready to go.

Adam: Okay. Alright. Prosper, you wanna follow the orders you're being given?

Steven: Yep. Yep, I comply.

Adam: Alright -

Steven: Sassily.

Adam: Yeah, you get lead out, and we'll go over to Sicarian, and to Piani, and deal with that. Yeah, you can put your arms down. But when we come back, they better be back up!

Steven: Yep, that's the rule!

Adam: Piani, you and Wu are with uh...McCreary, you're approaching, um, the VIP like backstage thing, and at this point, the concert looks like it's basically over – there's still noise, but it's dropped, it's not...you can't hear like the bass shaking the walls anymore, now it's just like a repeating message, and the low-pass on it is so low that you're through several concrete walls, so all you can hear is someone's voice, repeating a message. It's probably like a “Everybody get the fuck out, the concert's over,” y'know, “Move toward the nearest exit in an orderly fashion.” and uh, there are people coming and going in these hallways, but mostly they're going, so you can just move towards the wall, and move backstage.

Wheat: Yeah, uh, I just kinda like grab the lady, and have Wu in the tail end, and just make sure I'm in contact with them as we're going through here.

Adam: Okay, yeah, you get to the back hallway, where it's like VIP access only, there's a security guard there, he's wearing like a bulletproof vest, he's got like a headset on, and he's talking to somebody. When you walk up, he doesn't really notice you, 'cause he's embroiled in this conversation.

Wheat: Then I just go in, like I belong there.

Adam: Okay. Alright, make a...make a stealth check for me.

Wheat: Okay. Great, well at least I have 0. Uhhh....

Adam: Nice!

JP: Not bad.

Adam: Okay. So you manage to sneak the three of you past this guy – he's in the middle of this loud conversation, not doing his job very well, looks the other way as you sneak past – maybe he glances at you, but he sees the badges, and is just like fuck it never mind, I don't care. You get in to the back, and basically walk right into, like as soon as you come through the door, you walk right into three people that are having a debate, they're having a vigorous debate about what to do. So there's like a bodyguard lookin' dude, uh, kinda looks like the guy you just walked past, similar outfit, looks like he works for the venue, there’s a guy in a bright suit, looks very nervous, really sweaty, and he's holding the wrist of a girl, who looks to be like in her early teens, very brightly colored outfit, pink hair, and he keeps saying “Nika we have to go, it's not safe here!” and she's saying as you come in “But my fans!” and you hear a high-pitched squeaking noise come from Connor when he realizes what's happening,

Wheat: “Eeeeeeeeee!”

Adam: And let's cut to break there, and we'll come back with Nika and her agent, and we'll have more after that.

JP: Alright, sounds good! We'll be back guys, first hour is up, still got three to go! See you guys in just a bit, more RollPlay comin' up right after this!

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